The Peacock

Frank was a kid. Met, Luke at a record store in Pasadena. He noticed, Luke was carrying around a 2 foot bong, slung in a sack, wrapped around his waist, like a longsword. Two things made, Frank walk up to, Luke. One, he liked longswords, and two, he was out of weed.

A few months later, after the eventual hotbox session in the car, and a couple of random roadtrips up north, Frank, and, Luke became roommates. It made sense. Neither of them could afford a place on their own and they both loved weed.

Frank had finished watching the television program about a flat universe and was almost done with a Twilight Zone marathon he discovered randomly running on channel 14. He had on his comfortable socks, the ones without the holes, and his pipe filled with marijuana. This made him happy. He wanted to catch the episode about the Devil trapped in a monastary and finally find out why it freaked him out so much.

After three hours of waiting, as well as admiring the storytelling abilities of the writers, the actors, and the art department of the program, the front door opens and, Luke walked in.

“Dude!” yelped, Luke.

“Dude…” responded a lazy, Frank.

“Dude!” Luke yelped again, quickly landing on his side of the couch.

“Dude…” Frank replied even lazier.

“Dude!” Luke stated. “Guess what the fuck happened?”

“What?” asked, Frank.

“Long killed, Xavier!” screamed, Luke. “Can I hit that?”

“Sure.” said, Frank, apathetically. “What do you mean, Long killed, Xavier? Like, Xavier is dead?” and handed the pipe to, Luke.

Luke took a massive rip, seemingly to calm his nerves. He was quite animated for a reuptable stoner. Exhaled like steam from a very hot kettle. “Dude…”

“So what the fuck happened?” began, Frank, trying his best to fight the drugs lethargy. Mainly because the word ‘kill’ was invovled. And he wanted to be ready if he needed to think straight. Because he’s been watching a lot of Twilight Zone and he knew, there was a possibility that anything could happen. ” Long killed, Xavier? Like literaly killed him?”

Luke took another fat rip. Exhaled. The smoke shooting out of his mouth, looking like a cloudy morse code as he spoke. “No. Not killed. Him. Sorry for using that word. But he kicked his fucking ass.”

“What? I Don’t get it. I thought you guys were going to kick, Cookie’s ex-boyfriends ass?” Asked, Frank, sobering up, a little pissed because the topic of conversation was kind of serious. Plus the devil episode still hadn’t shown.

“We were. But when we got there, right outside of that dude’s house, Xavier didn’t want to go through with it anymore.” Said, Luke.

“Why not? He seeemed like he was into it when you guys left?”

“I know, right? But he didn’t want to.” Luke said, taking another rip. “I mean we get there, and, Long is all fucking ready to kick this guy out, right? And we’re walking up that guys driveway like it’s a friggin’ movie. Like a cowboy movie and shit. Looed friggin’ bad ass, man!”

“So what happened?”

“Right. Sorry for getting off track. The weed is starting it’s magic.”

“It’s cool. Go on.”

“So we’re walking up the driveway when all of a sudden, Xavier screams out, ‘Fuck the Rules, man!’ And we’re al like, ‘Huh?” and he’s all like, ‘Fuck the Rules, man! This is stupid! This is kid shit! We should go!’ Long says, ‘You fucking pussy!’ Xavier says, ‘Fuck you, you fucking kid!’ Long says, ‘Pussy!’ Xavier says, ‘Kid!’ and they go back and forth like this. Almost sounds like a song and shit. I could almost dance to it. It was like that techno music type of shit.”

“Okay. go on.”

“Right. Sorry. The Weed. Anyway, that guy, Sabo, Cookie’s ex-boyfriend here’s the ruckus and comes out. Now this is one big ass motherfucker. Looks like, Thor, the God of Thunder and shit, right? Long see’s him, makes a b-line straight for the fool. And, Long’s big ass fist, looking like a avalanche and shit was getting ready to knock this guy out. You know that look in his eye? The one where shit doesn’t matter to hm anymore? Where he’s just going to destroy everything around him? Yeah, man. He had that look.”

“Jeez. Bad shit happens when that shit happens. Shit…”

“I know, right? So fucking, Sabo see’s this and his as bals his fists up, and it’s looking like shit is about to go down. you know, man, you know what’s weird?”

“What?”

“That all that shit happened in like five seconds. Sabo coming out, Long walking up to him, and, Sabo getign ready. It’s fucking weird, man. Like they could read each other’s minds or some shit.”

“They can smell it.”

“Huh?”

“The testosterone. Like male peacocks.”

“Eh?”

“I was watching this one show on The Science Channel, right? Talked about ‘runawayevolution’. Like shit that has to do with Natural Selection and how certain traits aren’t there for survival or health, it’s just there for attraction.”

“What the fuck?”

“Okay. Like a peacock. Male peacocks have these big ass bright tails, right? And they really don’t help them fly better, and they sure as fuck don’t help with camouflage. Them bright ass feathers are there to attract the peahen. You know what I mean? It’s there to attract the females. And that’s it.”

“…uh…what the fuck are you talking about?”

“That’s what, Xavier was talking about.”

“I still don’t get it. Damn. This weed must be the shiiiiiit…”

“Okay, man. Listen up. It’s pretty simple wen you really think about it.” Frank began, his high totally gone because of the natural endorphins dropping. “Men, human men, exhert this kind of machismo. Shit like fighting and fucking as many chicks asthey can. Used to be, when we were friggin’ cavemen and shit that it helped with our evolution. If we fought, we didn’t die, and if we fucked a lot of chicks, we would have a lot of babies. And our genetic code would be passed down, right? The bottom line for every living thing in this universe, right? So it made sense, way back when, that men would do shit like that. Because it was almost mandatory for survival.”

“Okay. I’m still with you.” And luke took a mighty rip.

“But nowadays, it’s not necessary. We don’t have to fight off predators. We don’t have to fuck a lot of chicks. That shit is the echo of a primordial calling males needed to survive in the world. But the world has changed a lot. And that exhibition of machismo is no longer necessary. Actually, to the alpha females, it’s a hndrance.”

“You’re starting to use big words, man.”

“Sorry. Basically, we don’t have to follow the Rules anymore.”

“Ah. I get it. But I think we still gotta follow the Rules, bro.”

“Well, yeah, otherwise you’re a pussy and you’ll get your ass kicked.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. I’m just saying, I see what, Xavier is talking about. That’s all.”

“Alright.” Said, Luke. Handing, Frank his pipe back. “I thought I’d have to kick your ass.”

Frank took a toke. “So what the fuck happened with, Xavier and, Long? And did, Sabo throw down?”

“Naw. What had happened was right when, Long was going to fuck, Sabo up, Xavier tackled, Long to the ground. Then, Long, since he was in that fucking attack zone shit, he took a swing at, Xavier. Xavier, took a swing at, Long, and it was an all out brawl. Sabo was just standing there wonderign what the fuck was going on.”

“Jeez.”

“Yeah. So, Xavier got it pretty bad. Didn’t look like he wanted to fight, or maybe he didn’t wantto fight anymore. Because after a while, Long was just punding the fuck out of him. Eventually, he stopped. Fucking got mad at himself. Picked up, Xavier and threw him into the backseat. I drove everyone home.”

“How’d you get here? Didn’t you guys take, Xavier’s car?”

“Yeah. I took the bus home.”

“Oh.”

The episode with the Devil trapped in a moastary finaly showed up on the TV.

“Yo,” Frank said. “You got to check out this episode. It’s friggin’ scary as shit.”